Jakie collapsed into the red sofa in her psychologist’s office. He was expecting her. “It’s been a while, Jakie”
“Yes Munroe, I wish I had come sooner but I had a busy schedule”
“You know I won’t force you to keep our meetings regularly but you know you need them.”
“That’s why I am here.”
“So what is it?”
“I need a fix! I feel that I’m at the point I need to be in my life but I’m too impatient to enjoy it. I’m more scared. And as much as I won’t admit it to the world I’m lonely.
“I’m at this stormy point where I have to throw off everything onboard to get light so I don’t sink or more like the peaceful island point where everything is calm and you have time to think”
“So what’s wrong with both pictures?”
“I feel like I had to lose my valuables. Things that made me feel secure but more or less worthless to help me survive. I wish I didn’t have to off load deck but if I didn’t I would have sunk. And the island seems peaceful. Something I’ve needed and wanted but I’m so touchy that I’m craving for some action.”
“What kind of action?”
” I’m not sure but something to distract me from feeling alone.”
Munroe jotted in his pad and Jakie robbed her forehead.
“So what I understand from the two scenarios you described and I’m sure you’re also quite aware of what it is, is that you know what you need but you’re desperately trying to hold to your wants. You’ve made it an idol to you.”
“The fear of being alone. The fear of having nothing. All these things are physical and has blinded you from seeing the spiritual which is that you’re not alone and you have more than enough.”
“So it has made me selfish right?”
“You’re destroying yourself without knowing it. As you said, the ship would sink.”
Jakie sighed. “Since this is the problem what is the solution?”
“Let those things go. Enjoy the peace. Love God and love yourself; after all you can only love someone as much as you love yourself. The moment you start to look at what you have to gain instead of what is lost you’ll appreciate opportunities more. You’ll value your life more over material things and personal satisfactions that can change at any moment.”
“You know why you’re different from other psychologists, Munroe?”
” I’m pretty sure I do but why?”
“You tell me the truth, not what I need to hear and you always have a solution.”
“I’m glad I can be here for you. And please don’t come back with this problem again. You need to deal with it once and for all.”
“I would most certainly work on that.”
I saw myself in Jackie, with worrying about problems I didn’t even have. Sometimes it feels like the world is against you and you’re paying for some crime you didn’t even know you committed. Sometimes it could be about holding on to past mistakes with the fear that it would influence our future not knowing we are opening the doors of negativity to ourselves.
Sometimes we go through life and just bottle things up like being open and honest would make us less Holy. Well it won’t!
This morning I read something that really opened my heart: God understands and he never leaves us without a solution.
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
1. God’s understanding is unsearchable. You can’t begin to understand how much he understands.
2. He’s always ready with an antidote. Feeling down- just call on him because in his presence there is fullness of joy; feeling lowly- remember to humble yourself before him and he will lift you up; feeling weak- his strength is made perfect in your weakness.
3. You are what you are by His grace.
So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.
No matter how self righteous you are or how much you condemn yourself, remember that God does not consider any of these, instead, you are what you are by God’s mercy. Because of his mercy he has allowed us to experience grace. What you will be tomorrow is also by the mercy and grace of God. So approach God confidently for his mercy and the grace to plunge forward gloriously.
You will always do excellently by forgetting the things that are behind and pursuing to know Him more.